Helicopter parenting is a highly involved and protective style of raising children. Similar to how a helicopter hovers, these parents closely oversee nearly every part of their child’s life, often leading to negative consequences. Psychologist Ann Dunnewold describes this as "over-parenting," meaning an excessive focus on controlling, protecting, and perfecting a child’s life.
Clinical psychologist Michelle M. Reynolds, PhD, founder of ‘LifeCatalyst: Therapy and Coaching’ explains that helicopter parents tend to be overly protective and excessively concerned for their children. It is common for them to micromanage their children’s schedules, and they regularly intervene to make things easier for them, so they do not have to encounter problems themselves.
In this blog, we will explore the negative correlation between helicopter parenting and child development. While helicopter parenting is not always harmful, especially when practiced in moderation, experts warn that it can have long-term negative effects. If you are wondering what qualifies as helicopter parenting.
Here are a few telling signs.
Mediating conflicts on behalf of your child
Doing their homework for them
Training their coaches or teachers
Staying by their side even on short walks
Taking full responsibility for all their household chores
Protecting them from failure and glorifying perfectionism
Solving their problems for them
Preventing them from making age-appropriate decisions
Impact of Helicopter Parenting
Low Confidence and Self-esteem: Children feel untrusted to handle tasks independently, leading to a lack of confidence and self-belief. For instance, if a parent insists on picking out a child’s clothes even when a child is old enough to do so themselves, they may believe that they are incapable of doing basic tasks on their own.
Poor Coping Skills: Constantly rescuing children prevents them from learning how to handle failure or disappointment, leaving them ill-prepared to face life’s challenges. If a child is having a fight with their peer, it is important to let them handle it themselves. In this case, an adult’s job is to guide the child with non-violent and constructive ideas for conflict resolution and not to become the prime mediator between the children.
Anxiety: Children may adopt their parents’ anxieties, resulting in heightened levels of stress and intrusive thoughts. For example, if a parent is constantly anxious about a child crossing the street alone, incessantly warning them about accidents and anything that can go wrong, it is natural for the child to internalize the same fears.
Lack of Life Skills: Children may not learn basic life tasks such as cooking, cleaning, or managing personal responsibilities, as their parents do these things for them. They must be allowed to do things on their own, and in their own way. Studies prove that children who perform age-appropriate chores at home are cognitively and emotionally better prepared to tackle challenges in adulthood.
Sense of Entitlement: Constant parental involvement may develop a sense of entitlement with children expecting their needs to always be met by others. They may start believing that it is someone else’s responsibility to do things for them.
Lack of Problem-solving: They may struggle with decision-making and problem-solving, often turning to their parents for help, as they never had a chance to cultivate independence. This can hinder self-advocacy in environments like school or work.
Transitioning to Growth Parenting
Parenting styles have an enormous influence on child outcomes. So how can parents support their children while still allowing them to grow? It is essential to focus on both the present needs of children and the independent adults they will become. This involves letting children face challenges, experience failure, and complete tasks they are capable of doing on their own.
As children learn from their mistakes, parents will also grow. Every parent has their own approach, but a common goal is to prepare children for the real world. Gradually giving children independence through open communication and gentle supervision can help find a balance that supports their development while strengthening the parent-child relationship.
At Dibber International Nurseries, we are dedicated to supporting parents in this journey and contributing positively to early childhood development.
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