A novel approach to parenting that is fast gaining recognition, particularly among new parents, is gentle parenting. This style of parenting emphasizes the importance of building a comforting environment that meets a child’s emotional needs while upholding clear boundaries. Many mistake gentle parenting to be soft parenting or permissive parenting. However, this is far from the truth. This approach focuses on strengthening bonds, empathizing, cultivating mutual respect, offering validation, and enforcing positive discipline.
Gentle parenting, in fact, draws from positive psychology to develop emotional intelligence and encourage social skills in children. In contrast to more traditional parenting approaches that lean on punishments and incentives, gentle parenting tries to find the root cause of behavior to help children self-regulate. The idea is to help them understand the impact and consequences of their actions.
Being a relatively new take on parenting, research on its benefits is still ongoing. However, one study showed that gentle parenting effectively promotes positive child development. Children who were parented in this manner experienced better mental fortitude and displayed fewer behavioral issues than children who were exposed to authoritarian or permissive styles of parenting.
Here is some gentle parenting advice for parents who are keen to diverge from traditional methods of parenting:
Involve Family, Friends, and School
Setting expectations right is a terrific way to start. Get every adult that interacts with your child on a regular basis on board, including grandparents, babysitters, teachers, friends etc., so there is consistency in what the child hears and learns. This way everyone is on the same page, and the child is less inclined to behave differently in different situations just because the parents aren’t around. For example, if your child is eating dinner with his or her grandparents while you aren’t available, ensure that they reinforce mealtime rules such as no screens. Don’t be afraid to reiterate what the expectations are and what the consequences will be.
Display A Positive Attitude
In many ways, our children are a reflection of us. They draw from and emulate our actions and behaviors. Being mindful about how we act or react sets the foundation for how they choose to behave. Even when situations are tense, maintain a calm demeanor. It is so easy to get carried away and have a screaming match with your child. This only motivates them to scream louder. Approaching these situations patiently can be testing, but it will yield positive results in the long term.
Prepare For Negative Behavior
Planning how you want to deal with sudden bursts of emotions or poor behavior can prevent you from being reactive in the moment. It will also give you the feeling of being in control of a situation that could otherwise rapidly deteriorate. For instance, if you are grocery shopping with your child and a disagreement causes them to throw a tantrum, employ your preplanned strategy. You could choose to let them have a meltdown while you finish shopping and address the outburst at home or adopt any other strategy that you find best.
Practice Consistency
Set boundaries in partnership with your children, so they are involved in the decision-making process. This will also let you hold them accountable. Children love routines as it gives them control over their day-to-day tasks. Be consistent with whatever boundaries you are setting. If bedtime is at 9 PM then make sure you and your child adhere to it. You can also discuss and have separate rules for holidays. This helps avoid unnecessary issues and makes both parents and children feel heard and respected.
Be A Team
As parents, make sure you communicate to your child that you are on their team, that you are invested in their growth and happiness. A nurturing parenting approach where they feel valued, loved, and supported by their caregivers will motivate them to make positive changes. This will also encourage children to talk about their challenges and discuss their needs.
In Conclusion
Having discussed its many benefits, it must be understood that gentle parenting may not work for everyone. Early child development is crucial, and it may be in a family’s best interest to explore multiple options and even borrow from different styles to meet their unique needs. It must also be noted that each child is unique, and what we do with one may not necessarily work with the other. It is quite an ask, but parents may have to use a variety of approaches keeping in mind their personality, the child’s personality, and what works for them as a unit.
Conscious parenting practices definitely promote peace and positivity within the home environment. There could be a lot of trial and error involved, but parenting is a wonderful learning experience to be embraced with an open mind.
תגובות