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Developing Emotional Intelligence in Children - Healthy Ways to Manage Intense Feelings


Image of Developing Emotional Intelligence in Children

Emotional intelligence is the ability to recognize, understand, and manage your own emotions. It also entails identifying and appropriately responding to others’ feelings. Developing this skill in childhood helps navigate social situations, build healthy relationships, and manage emotional reactions effectively.

Research over the past several decades has shown that emotional intelligence offers numerous lifelong benefits. For instance, a child who can calm themselves when angry is more likely to handle inconvenient situations well, and a child who expresses emotions healthily is more likely to maintain positive relationships than one who reacts with anger or hurtful words.

The encouraging news is that all children have the potential to learn emotional intelligence skills—they just need guidance from parents and caregivers.

Fun Activities to Promote Emotional Intelligence in Children:

Emotional intelligence is cultivated through social experiences as children go through life. Nevertheless, there are a few helpful tasks to help steer them in the right direction.

1. Role Playing

This is an excellent method to have children experience different scenarios that they may encounter. It provides wonderful opportunity for children to empathize, problem solve, and develop critical thinking skills. The simplest thing to try with your child is to offer them a hypothetical scenario and ask them how they would react. For instance, your child was supposed to attend her best friend’s birthday party, and she was extremely excited for the same. However, you fall sick on the day of the party, and you are unable to drive her to the venue. No one else can take her, and she must miss the party. Ask your child how this would make her feel, how she would react, or if there is anything else she would have done. Find out how your child would respond to this, and then give her your perspective on how you would have dealt with it. These simple conversations can be thought provoking and enlightening for children. 

2. Read Books That Promote Emotional Intelligence

Stories and characters bring emotions to life. Age-appropriate books introduce vocabulary, refine language abilities, and allow children to become invested in the storyline, indulging their imaginations and developing their thinking abilities. Make children dive deep into characters’ motivations, next steps, and possible outcomes of actions while reading stories. Ask them what they would have done differently. Also, if you are reading moral stories, discuss the moral of the story and your child’s take away from it.

3. Index Cards with Emotions

Write down several emotions on index cards. Have your child pick one card and talk about an event or memory when they or someone close to them felt that way. This gives children the confidence to express themselves to their parents and helps them talk about difficult emotions. This is also a great activity to do with children after they have had a meltdown or misbehaved in some way. They do not have to pick a random card, but you can encourage them to pick all the cards that detail how they felt and have them talk through their experience. In many cases, children will be able to see their reaction in a new light and understand how to self-correct.  

4. Acting Out Emotions

A nice game to play with children is acting out emotions. Call out an emotion and have your child act it out. You can take turns playing this game. Remember to note how their face looks, how their body moves, how they are breathing, etc. You can even capture a video of them acting. The idea is to allow children to understand how a particular emotion looks on them and how to perceive it when someone else displays the exact same emotion. This is not only a great exercise in identifying emotions but also helps children develop perspective and empathy. 

 

Emotionally intelligent children are aware of their emotions and talk about them openly. They also recognize the emotions of those around them and know how to manage negative feelings, exhibiting reasonable behavior even when things do not go as planned. They persist with activities even when they become challenging. The foundation of emotional intelligence begins in the family, where children learn behavioral patterns and ways to manage emotions. Generally, children's emotional development mirrors their parents' behaviors, making the power of example crucial. With the right guidance and support, every child can learn these skills. 

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